You may have heard the advice, "Fake it until you make it." While it's often applied to business or overall self-confidence, it can also apply to happiness. In other words, you might fake happiness (by forcing a smile, pushing yourself to be outgoing, or repeating positive affirmations) until you actually start to feel real happiness.
At a Glance
While it might sound surprising, trying to fake happiness can sometimes help put you in a better frame of mind. Forcing a smile, acting extroverted, and repeating positive mantras can shift your internal experiences for the better. But there are limits to this fake happiness effect, so it's essential to know when it's OK to put on a show and when it's time to be real about your feelings. Here are some research-backed situations when faking it works and examples of when it can do more harm than good.
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1
Fake A Smile?
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You may have heard recommendations both ways: plastering on a smile when you feel unhappy can only make you worse, and a fake smile can lead to a real one. You may have even heard of research that backs up both positions.So, which is it?
Actually, in a way, both of these things are true, and the situation is a bit complex:
- Sometimes it hurts: When you smile to repress upset feelings, you can make yourself feel worse. We all sometimes do this when we need to to be socially acceptable.
- Sometimes it can help: Some research actually does suggest that forcing a smile can even help depressed people feel better.
- Sometimes it can create more problems: But if you alwayscope with unhappiness by forcing a smile and pretending you're not upset, this can create other problems. It can feel inauthentic, and it can be part of a larger pattern of not dealing with your feelings.
If you fake a smile, those close to you, those who could offer support, don't know anything is wrong. This can keep you from getting social support that could make you feel better.
Smile when you need to, but let yourself be real when you can, and process your feelings.
When Faking a Smile Might Help
If, however, you are feeling neutral or just slightly "down," smiling can help. One study asked subjects to fake smiles and measured how they felt after a few minutes of this. Results showed a boost in positive feelings as a result of the smiling.
In these cases, the fake smiles tended to lead to real ones.
Researchers believe that this is because the mind and the body communicate. Psychologically, we infer our attitudes by watching our actions as an observer would.
That means that you can intensify an emotion by physically expressing it.
Researchers have also found that standing up straighter can actually make you feel more confident.
Positive Thoughts Can Help
Another study had subjects hold a pencil in their teeth to activate the same muscles that are required for smiling. They wanted to see if the very act of smiling might create positive feelings or if people, when forcing a smile, would think of things that made them happy, and those thoughts led to the real smiles.
This would mean that the boost in positive feelings would be due to the happy thoughts rather than the act of smiling itself.
Interestingly, even the subjects who were "smiling" because they were holding a pencil in their teeth found themselves feeling more positive as a result.
Your Beliefs About What Smiles Mean Also Matter
Just to complicate things, another series of studies found that our beliefs about smiles can also make a difference. Research from Northwestern University found that those who think of smiles as a reflection of their good mood can find themselves feeling happier when they smile more frequently.
However, those who see smiling as acauseof happiness rather than a result of it find that more frequent smiling actually has the opposite effect.
The key here is that if you think of your smiles as something you do because you're in a good mood, smiling more often should make you feel better. If you think of it as something that you're only doing to feel better, you might not get the same positive boost.
How to Apply It to Your Own Life
If this is true for you, you might want to take a minute or two and focus on the positive things in your life, remember the last really funny thing that happened to you, or otherwise focus on things that make you smile naturally.
The important thing to remember is that real smiles are preferable, even though both types can bring benefits. If you can think of things that can genuinely make you happy as a way to change your outlook and make yourselffeellike smiling, that is ideal.
But if you can't get yourself to that kind of happy place in seconds, faking a smile is a simple shortcut that most often works.
Aside from the emotional and health benefits of smiling, there are also stress management benefits. One of the most significant is that when you wear a positive expression, it can be contagious. Smile,and the world smiles back at you, as the saying goes.
Walking around with everyone responding more positively to you can also lead to more genuine smiles for you.
The Verdict: Fake it—but only under certain conditions!
If you fake a smile to boost positivity, this generally works well if you think of the smile as a reflection of your good mood. If you fake a smile to keep from dealing with your feelings or the things that are making you sad or think of a forced smile only as a trick to make you happy, this can make you feel worse in the long run. And if you can make yourselffeellike smiling, that's the best route!
2
Fake an Affirmation?
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Positive affirmations are widely recommended in some self-help circles. In a sense, they are a method of "faking" beliefs about yourself and your life in an attempt to make those beliefs more of a permanent reality.
The recommendations of the early 2000s bestselling book, The Secret, are based, in part, on the effectiveness of positive affirmations.But affirmations are recommended by many other bestselling self-help books as welland have gained quite a following in recent years.
Affirmations can be likened to personal mantras, and are recommended to be repeated as a way to reprogram one's subconscious mind to replace negative beliefs with more affirming ones, particularly when they are beliefs about one's self.
But do they work? Some people say that those who repeat affirmations over and over are simply fooling themselves and in the long run, they are ineffective or even damaging because they are self-delusional. Are they right?
Unrealistic Positive Affirmations Can Backfire
Interestingly, when it comes to affirmations, the naysayers have a point.Research has actually shown that positive affirmations can actually backfire in certain situations.
More specifically, when people repeat affirmations that they do not truly believe or that are even the opposite of what they truly believe, the subconscious mind rejects these affirmations and actually becomes more resistant to the ideas and more stressed as a result!
The wrong affirmations really can do more harm than good.
The key here is thatmore damaging affirmations are those that people repeat when they are the opposite of what they really think—or are at least significantly far from their true beliefs.
Believable Affirmations Can Help
However, this isn't true for affirmations that repeat what people believe to be true already, or that people believe could be true.
This is an important distinctionbecause affirmations that align with one's true beliefs really do work in strengtheningthese beliefs and expanding upon them.But positive affirmations that align with how you really think can have a powerfully positive effect.
Examples of Harmful Affirmations
An example of an affirmation that would backfire for someone who is dealing with discomfort about their appearance: I am the most beautiful woman in the world.
If an affirmation is so far off from how someone actually feels, their subconscious mind will put up a fight. This means the affirmation would create stress without creating positive change.
A better option would be: I am beautiful enough, or I am beautiful inside and out.If the woman were attempting a healthier diet and balanced exercise schedule, she may create affirmations to support this, such asI am working toward greater health and beauty every day, or I am getting stronger, I am getting healthier, and eventually, I am strong, I am healthy, I am beautiful.
Here are more examples.
Unrealistic: I am at complete and total inner peace.
More realistic: I am working toward feeling at peace, or I am becoming more peaceful.
Unrealistic: I am strong and nothing hurts me.
More realistic: I am getting stronger and can weather this challenge, or I will overcome these obstacles.
Unrealistic: My life is perfect in every way as it is.
More realistic: My life is becoming better, or I am working toward a better life. (Even better would be to list the ways in which life is becoming better, as separate affirmations.)
These may seem like minor distinctions, but to your subconscious mind, they are significant. It is important to note that these are only examples. If the affirmations labeled "unrealistic" resonate with you as true, it is fine to use them.
However, if they are far-off or opposite of what you really believe at this point, it is best to soften them to match the best of what you can believe about yourself and your situation at this moment.
The Verdict: Be careful how you use them!
Affirmations that are far from what you actually believe can backfire. Affirmations that capture the best aspects of what you already believe and build on them, or move you in the right direction are key.
3
Fake Being Outgoing?
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Research shows that extroverts are actually happier than their introverted counterparts. They're also more successful in life.
This can feel like bad news for those who naturally tend toward introversion, as the tendency to be more or less extroverted is something that we are born with.
Acting Extrovert Can Increase Happiness
However, the good news is that we can intentionally shift these tendencies by consciously acting extroverted in certain situations, and research has backed this up.
In one study, researchers asked introverts and extroverts alike to act extroverted and found that introverts and extroverts alike experienced a boost in happiness.
In the context of this research, "acting extroverted" means acting confident and outgoing in a social situation that lasts around an hour.This is distinct from pushing yourself to change your full nature.
For example, introverts need more "downtime" after social interactions, and it would be exhausting for an introvert not to allow this.
Why Acting Extroverted Can Help
However, if you are more introverted, you may benefit from acting more confident and outgoing in certain social situations, not only because you will likely connect with more people and expand your social resources but because you will have a good time, boost your happiness, and in turn minimize your stress levels in the process.
Introverts Tend to Underestimate This Effect
Other research asked introverts to predict how happy they would feel by acting extroverted, and they consistently underestimated how good it would feel to act more extroverted than they felt.
This may be part of why the more reserved among us have a difficult time coming out of their shells. Not only does it take effort, but they're not sure that the reward is worth that effort.
Rest assured, if you try it, you will likely be glad you did. This is just one effective way to relieve stress if you're an introvert.
The Verdict: Fake it!
Behaving like an extrovert in certain social situations can help both introverts and extroverts feel happier.
What This Means For You
Usually, the phrase "fake it until you make it" can apply to being in a good mood.There are certain conditions where your subconscious mind knows you're faking it, and it won't be fooled.
However, if you can move toward feeling happier and less stressed with an extra smile when you may not have thought of smiling, a repetition of a positive thought you believe, or an internal push toward friendlier behavior, do it!If this feels too fake for you and you start to feel worse, try another positivity-boosting activity instead.
