Many of us have heard of “daddy issues,” but what about the “mother wound?” Mother wound is not a term we hear bandied about on social media, or even in therapy sessions–yet it can still significantly impact our adult relationships. In essence, when a child receives physical care from their mother but not emotional support, we call this the mother wound.
The reason why the mother wound has such a profound effect on us in childhood and later in life is that it plants seeds of doubt in our minds about our worth, trust in others, and safety in the world around us.
Because of the pain and distress of experiencing the mother wound, it’s not something many people talk about. As a result, recognizing that you have a mother wound, processing this, and healing from it can be difficult. However, with the right support and knowledge alongside a series of practical steps, you can learn to heal from these painful past experiences.
To answer all of your questions on understanding and healing the mother wound, this article will cover:
- What the mother wound is, including how it happens
- Signs and symptoms of the mother wound
- How the mother wound manifests in sons
- What the mother wound looks like in daughters
- Practical steps to healing the mother wound
Many of us have heard of “daddy issues,” but what about the “mother wound?” Mother wound is not a term we hear bandied about on social media, or even in therapy sessions–yet it can still significantly impact our adult relationships. In essence, when a child receives physical care from their mother but not emotional support, we call this the mother wound.
The reason why the mother wound has such a profound effect on us in childhood and later in life is that it plants seeds of doubt in our minds about our worth, trust in others, and safety in the world around us.
Because of the pain and distress of experiencing the mother wound, it’s not something many people talk about. As a result, recognizing that you have a mother wound, processing this, and healing from it can be difficult. However, with the right support and knowledge alongside a series of practical steps, you can learn to heal from these painful past experiences.
To answer all of your questions on understanding and healing the mother wound, this article will cover:
- What the mother wound is, including how it happens
- Signs and symptoms of the mother wound
- How the mother wound manifests in sons
- What the mother wound looks like in daughters
- Practical steps to healing the mother wound
FAQs
Healing From a Mother Wound
- Practicing self-care/self-compassion. Indulging in healing practices such as taking a walk, meditating, or going out for coffee with friends will help us undo the damage of insufficient mothering.
- Creative expression. ...
- Getting in touch with your emotions. ...
- Parent yourself. ...
- Inner child work.
On a spiritual level, the Mother Wound is a wound with life itself, causing us to feel an existential sense of disconnection from a higher power; a sense of feeling alone in the world and in the universe.
What does a mother wound look like in a woman? ›
“Common signs of a mother wound are low self-esteem or self-worth, co-dependency or excessive independence, fear of rejection and abandonment, self-sabotaging behaviours such as substance abuse, self-harming, boundary issues, or difficulties in expressing emotions,” explains senior therapist, Antoinette Biehlmeier of ...
How to heal from a bad mother? ›
To heal, you need to disconnect emotionally and possibly physically from your hurtful mother. Decide how much contact with her you will have. Build meaningful connections with others. Did you know that loneliness and isolation destroy not only your mental health but your body, too?
Why is the mother wound so painful? ›
The Mother Wound is an attachment trauma that creates a sense of confusion and devastation in the child's psyche. It instills deeply rooted beliefs that make the child feel unloved, abandoned, unworthy of care, and even fearful of expressing themselves.
What is the unloved daughter syndrome? ›
If your daughter feels unloved, she may suffer from several emotional problems. Symptoms can include depression, anxiety, self-harm, and more. These feelings are often the result of the way her parents treated her during her childhood.
What is the mother wound energy? ›
The Mother Wound is ultimately not about your mother. It's about embracing yourself and your gifts without shame. We address the Mother Wound because it is a critical part of self-actualization and saying YES to being the powerful and potent women that we are being called to become.
What does God expect from a mother? ›
A godly mom loves the Lord with all her heart, soul, mind, and strength (Mark 12:30). She depends on God's love and power (Psalm 121:1-3, 27:11), rather than her own. She puts time in God's Word and in prayer first, allowing the Bible to inform her words and actions throughout the day.
What are examples of spiritual wounds? ›
Spiritual wounds may commonly take the form of:
- Disconnection with that which brings meaning and joy in one's life.
- Disconnection with self and others.
- Diminished sense of self-value and worth.
- Loss of purpose.
- Loss of hope.
- Isolation, loneliness, and abandonment.
- Suffering.
- Shame or guilt.
Yet, He reached into that place, that place of pain that I kept so hidden, to show me that He loved me more than a mother even could love her own child. Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I (God) will not forget you!” (Isaiah 49:15.)
Signs of the mother wound
- Never feeling like you had your mother's acceptance or approval.
- Feeling an emotional absence from your mother.
- Feeling like you had to protect or care for your mother.
- Feeling like your mother did not respect your emotions.
- Living with unrealistic expectations from your mother.
Avoidantly attached men may shut down their difficult feelings, causing them to feel out of reach and distant in relationships. Aside from insecure attachment, men who experienced the mother wound may also struggle with feelings of inadequacy and sadness, which then manifests as anger.
How to heal the mother wound? ›
Steps for healing from the mother wound
- Express the pain. The first step is letting yourself say, “Ouch” — and more — if you need to. ...
- Love yourself. Our concept of self was built through the way our mother interacted with us. ...
- Develop self-awareness. ...
- Parent yourself. ...
- Forgiveness.
Stay strong. Nope. The two words are let go. These two little words—five letters in all—are hugely important, because contrary to popular opinion, which always tells us that it takes effort to keep trying and hang in, the default position for humans is persistence.
How to mend a broken mother-daughter relationship? ›
If you've decided to heal your mother-daughter relationship, consider a few ways to open the doors to reconnecting.
- Appreciate the role she's played. ...
- Show her gratitude. ...
- Let your mom continue to influence you. ...
- Let her be part of your family. ...
- Dedicate time to continue traditions with your mom.
3 ways to overcome mommy issues
- Seek therapy. If you have mommy issues, therapy can be a way to cope and heal from a painful relationship with your mother. ...
- Find a support system. If your mother has been unreliable, then you may need to lean on other people who are reliable for support. ...
- Practice self-care.
1. Find a routine the whole family can share.
- Find a routine the whole family can share. Plan regular, special time for your little bean to spend with each parent, independently. ...
- Model polite language. ...
- Empathize with their feelings. ...
- Lighten the mood. ...
- Give your child something they can control. ...
- Find a good stand in.
Healing
- Seek therapy: Working with a therapist who specializes in maternal issues can help a woman understand and process her experiences with her mother. ...
- Explore your feelings: It is important for a woman to explore and understand the emotions associated with her negative mother-complex.
